Dear [Sir / Madam / Name of Applicant]:

Thank you for your application for [internship / mini-pupillage / work experience] in [my / our] [set of Chambers / law firm / company / non-profit / sinecure].

I regret to inform you that [I am unable / I am unwilling / I do not deign] to entertain your application, for the following reasons [select all that apply]:

• Your application was sent by email
• Your application was not addressed to [the Head of Chambers / the Pupillage Committee / the Head of Graduate Recruitment / the Big Cheese]
• Your cover letter consists of all of ten lines
• You have evidently not bothered to proofread your cover letter [or, alternatively, your cover letter demonstrates that you have absolutely no grasp of the English language]
• You have failed to conduct basic research on [my / our] [practice / profession / field of work] before applying
• You show an almost endearingly naive view of [my / our] [practice / profession / field of work]
• You are unable to give a cogent, or even coherent, reason for applying [other than to get a line on your CV in return for being taken to Starbucks for two weeks straight]
• You have not attached a CV
• Your CV shows that you are eminently unqualified

I wish you the best in your future studies.

Yours [sincerely / truly], etc.